Learn Cockney

Professor Joovy Here.

I'm here to help all you to learn English. Now let me tell you right off the bata cricket term that I am not some bespectacled old fogeya term used to describe old people in a derogatory fashion here to make you say "I am, I shall, I will. I do, you do, he does…..".

Quite frankly, that is a borea term used to display frustration, and there are plenty of places for you to learn all of that both online and offline.

You can buy tapes and books and recite them to your heart’s content- but will that help you fit in amongst real English-speaking people? You know it won’t. You need a REAL guide that helps you learn the real LINGO. I should tell you that I am an Englishman through and through.

So if you have come here to learn the yank speak (forgive my political incorrectness)- you have come to the wrong site. I am here to teach you how to integrate in England- not order a Big Mac (not that any of the employees there speak English anyway!).

So concentrate ladies and gentleman- and I promise that you will learn more English here on this site in the true sense (on the street)- where it matters- than you will in all the books that you will ever buy- and fast.

These so-called "English Teachers" on the Net, as far as I have observed, are either completely bonkersa term for insane or out-of-work students trying to make some dosha term for money.

What they teach you is out-dated, overly academic, boring and irrelevant. You need to learn how to get on in that new job, how to make some friends, how to date a cute chicka term for a beautiful woman- right?

Anyway, if you are understanding all that I am saying already, you are way past those learning modules- with perhaps a bit of fine tuning- so let’s just get on with it, shall we?